These are my confessions.
I've been mulling over this blog relaunch for months now - dare I say it's even been a year or more - with friends constantly asking me "when is it happening?" It even came to a point when they just stopped asking as it seemed like it would never see the light of day. With heartfelt sincerity, I also thought it would never come.
My first foray into the culture of blogging started off as mechanical and methodical. There was this distinct feeling of being institutionalised; boxed into a corner that I myself created. And I have to say - it sucked the life out of me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I wasn't inspired. Rookie mistake right? One would think that being as old as I am (I'll just leave you guys pondering that) and with the life experiences I have tucked safely under my belt, I would know more. Well I didn't - ergo all this running away from facing the inevitable.
Then reality hit me - hard. I wasn't constrained by what I made - I used it to "protect" me. I hid behind the walls of the safe, of the institutional, cordoning myself off because I was afraid - of what people will think or what they would say if I voiced my own unfiltered opinions. I have to say that the fear has always come with the territory of being "different".
Fear becomes an incessant companion and as such wall-building becomes a necessity. In this case, I built a wall so big and so public, but in an ironic and vaguely moronic way it actually made sense. It was the perfect ruse. I got to have a semblance of a life yet I stayed sheltered. When all it meant was, I was just afraid of being true to who I am. I didn't want to share my world because I was afraid of what others would think or say. But then I realised it's not about the potential backlash or ridicule. It's not about their voice or thoughts. It's about having A voice - mine. It's about expressing myself in a way that is true to who I am.
I confess, this new blog is supposed to be cathartic for me. It's a way for me to battle my fears and face the world head on. Standing up for me. Staying true to myself and my beliefs. Sharing as I see fit THROUGH MY EYES.
It's not about being different. It's about being unique - being personal with myself and you (whoever you are who's stayed with me throughout this first post ev-ah!). And as such I invite you to join me in this voyage of self-actualisation. And if in the process this journey inspires someone else to be - then I would be the happiest person in the world.
To find out more about the stuff that I'll be writing about or advocating on this blog - you can check out the WHO AM I section under INFO & CONTACTS or better yet you can just check back in once in a while for new posts. My social media accounts - specifically my INSTAGRAM will likely give you a bit of taste as well for what's to come! So do follow me there to stay updated.
That's it for today's confessions!
So the journey begins anew.
OUTFIT: Vintage Coat, Maison Michel Hat, Prada Glasses, Saint Laurent Paris Shirt and Ring, Isabel Marant Wedge Sneakers, Topman Jeans